What is it that makes the “forbidden” fruit so…. Inviting?  Is it the fact that it is “forbidden”?  is it the unknown about it?  Is it curiosity?  Or is that that we all think that we know what is best for ourselves?

            Lets take a look at a story… there were two people, a man and a woman, no one really gave them limitations on anything.  They could go where they wanted, do what they wanted, they were free to do everything EXCEPT… eat this one fruit that was ‘forbidden’.  Now if we were free to do everything and anything but eat one kind of fruit, don’t ya think that would be an easy task to follow?  Well, maybe to some people it would be easy, but isn’t everyone a little curious as to why we can’t have ‘that’ fruit, that one particular fruit.  What is it about that fruit?  Why can’t I have that one?  I mean why couldn’t the orange have been forbidden instead of the Apple? 

            Any way, back to the story… Well the woman decides the fruit is inviting and looks good… why not?  So she eats it and then the man comes and she convinces him to eat it too… “What?!?!?! Oh NO!  You Just Did WHAT??? You Ate the forbidden fruit?”  All of this runs through their heads, and not only that, but now they feel guilt and shame about it…

            HELLO???  Back to reality for a second… So lets review for a minute.. Why are ‘forbidden’ things what we want…??  Here is my answer… We are Curious, Fallen, Rebellious, and We think we know what is best for ourselves!

            So when someone says, “No!  You cant’ have that!  You are NOT allowed to do that!”  We think, “Why Not?  What do you know?  Why can’t I?”

….So, what do we do?  We decide that we will do What WE want because we know what is best for us… Right?   Not Always! 

            Now, I have a feeling right now some of you are mad or upset at what I just wrote… But I’m going to continue, so hold on to your britches. 

Well, I’m 18, legally I’m an adult, legally I can make my own decisions… But as someone just told me the other day...

“when I was 18 freedom was not having to listen to anyone.
today, freedom is letting other people help me avoid bad decisions.”

  I am learning that I need to be able to accept some of what other people say, not that I have to always listen to other people, but when people are older than you, smarter than you, and well have been through similar things as what you have gone through, and they tell me/you something… you should listen and take their advice.  I mean they may know exactly what you are going through and exactly what worked for them and what they think will be best for you, and it would be great to take that into consideration…  I would take it into consideration, think about it, and listen to their advice.  Coming from me.. and my situation I just came through… I cant’ believe that I am writing this now… I mean last night I would have told you.. “I am my own person, I know what is best for me.. What do you know?  You don’t know jack!  Leave me alone, I am 18 and an adult!”  but ,  I realize that if I didn’t need other people to help and support me and need their opinions… then why am I able to talk and interact with other people?  … I duno, Now I am babbling.. but hey oh well.  If you agree with any of this, just go ahead and add a comment.

Seeing you
   My heart aches
My eyes swell up
   My mouth goes dry.
What am I to do?

What we once had
    Amazing
What we will have again
    Uncertain
Help me to see the light

My thoughts are jumbled
    Confused in my head
What do I say to you
    Where to I start?
How do you feel?  Reveal it to me.

Take off the mask
    Take away the veil
Show me who you are...
    Your life, Your love
Let me in to see what I long for..

Do you understand?
    Will you ever know
How I feel for you?
    Feelings and Love,
I refuse... I will not let go...

You don't understand
    What I would do for you.
Give my life,
    Give my heart
Give myself for you. 

Floating away in my
    Own little world
Wanting for the
    Pain to cease
Save me from my pain. 

4-26-07
     Nicole L. Duttry

He Said...

He Said, He Loves me Unconditionally…

He Said, The plans He has for my life will be far greater than anything I can ever imagine…

He said, His Ways are the right ways to go…

He never said following his ways would be easy… He only promised that it would be worth it in the end.

No matter how bad things hurt now…

No matter how bleak everything seems, how dark, or how hopeless

He will work it out.

He will Love Me (you) Unconditionally

He will still have that perfect plan for My (your) life

His ways will still be right,

And Following his ways will still be worth it. 

Life.   In Life.   In Live, things don’t always go as we have had them planned.  Loved ones die, Lovers leave, and friends walk away without an explanation.  What do you do when everything you’ve ever dreamed of, everything you’ve ever wanted, walks out the door?  What do you say when there aren’t any words to explain how you are feeling?  How do you deal?  Someone told me once, that if I was ready to jump, they would be there to catch me.  I believed them, and I jumped…. Only to find that they would let me hit the ground to have a crash course with reality.  I have learned that not only will others let me down, but afterward they probably won’t care.  It probably didn’t bother them at all that I fell… NO, I had a head on collision with something that would leave my life changed forever.  See the Reality is…When your entire life is planned out, when everything is supposed to be one way (or at least the way you think it should be), and you have everything ready … It changes, it falls apart.